lol. It's been nearly a month since that place holder post of mine. I've become too addicted to plurk to be quite honest. Anyway, lately a lot of things have happened to me for the past month or so. Some of those things made me change the way I view at some of my close friends.
But meh, tonight, I'll be posting a LOT of blunt and probably harsh criticism just to give myself some peace of mind. I hate having these things loitering in my mind too much and I hate it if I can't say these things out loud in the open. So yeah, although I might end up getting flamed due to this, I just want to get this out of my head. Please bear with me and forgive me if I'm aggressive/rude/hateful in this post.
Note: I won't say the names, but if you got hit by one of the following statements, I apologize and feel free to hit back at the comment post. Freedom of Speech, after all. We have our right to our own opinion anyway. And if have any clarifications/concerns just leave it in the comment field.
Saatte... Hajimemashou!
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You did tell me you have a problem with me, but the problem is unclear even to yourself. Maybe you're suffering from paranoia perhaps? Or maybe you're just insecure whenever you see me or something? Also, honestly I don't understand about me being in the "grey area" with regards to the people whom you like/hate. isn't that... normal? Since there will always be characteristics of a person that one can specifically like or hate.
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I hate cynical, ignorant and apathetic people. Period. They're one of the reasons why this country could not prosper and probably one of the reasons why there are people still suffering. You can be cynical all you want, but please, DON'T SHOVE IT TO THE FACES OF THOSE WHO ARE GENEROUS AND KIND-HEARTED. Domo Arigatou Gozaimasu.
And yeah, to be blunt and honest, with the exception of a few people, I easily get bad vibes from people who are cynical/apathetic/ignorant.
Oh btw, stop making things worse for him. He's already suffering enough. Don't make him suffer any more. Your intentions were once good, but your somewhat taking it a bit too far right now.
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You know dude, winning is not always the most important the most important thing in life. Why do you keep expecting to win in each and every game that you play? Is winning that important to you? Sometimes you have
to experience loss, and losing is no excuse to cry over spilled milk. Why do you keep on blaming others when you and your team loses a match? It's just a game, no need to get serious over it unless it is REALLY a matter of life and death. Just have fun. If you lost, learn from it and do better next time. If you won, don't let it make your head grow big and be happy about it.
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One of the reasons why they make fun of you right now is because of how you act. You used to be a cool guy. You tend to give out actually decent advice to people and you're really a great person when it comes to computer games. And yet here you are, not being open to everyone and thinking that the entire world is yours and the world revolves around you. What the flying fuck. Remember you are just a speck of dust in the universe. The damn universe is not yours. Therefore not everything will go as you have planned. Just remember three things when it comes to what happens to you: Karma, Murphy's Law, and most importantly, the Will of God.
Also, why the fuck are you still being emo about a lot of things that have happened in the past? Why not just stand up from that damn corner of yours, be at peace with whatever happened to you back then, dust yourself and move on? The process is hard, but you can't just stay stuck there forever ya know, you'll end up wandering endlessly without any direction whatsoever. You might even end up being dead without any useful contribution to the people around you and to the world.
Besides, instead of mourning about it, why not learn from it instead? Even the greatest of men fall from the top of the mountain some time in their lives. And Experience is the best teacher. So what if you've fallen once? That's not excuse for you to hide in a corner forever. Man the fuck up. Learn from those mistakes, move on and be awesome for once.
Oh btw, Fix your issue about pride. It's alright to have some pride, but at least have some space for some humility for once, mmkay? :3
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You, on the other hand, have some of the same issues as the guy above, except for the pride part, only this time, you got problems not only with your parents, and with your culture, but also, with yourself as well. (This is going to be a lengthier one, I can say)
I wonder why do you still cling to your parents even though you are more or less distant towards them and they only treat you as a sort of an object rather than a beloved daughter. As in, they already oppress you and they;re trying to force what they want into you and yet you still stick onto them? And yet here you are lionizing them and even going as far as helping them because "you pity them". What. Make up your mind for once.
Another thing about you is that you tend to easily change your mind. It's starting to piss me off badly. If you're gonna decide on something, please don't be indecisive, and next time if you decided not to go on with one of my plans, please tell me BEFORE the day of the plan itself. It's f. difficult for me to adjust even the most loose of plans since you took me by surprise with your sudden change of mind. Once again, God damn it make up your mind please.
And sometimes your words confuse me. Your choice of words sometimes makes me misunderstand what you really mean and can lead me to bad consequences. Sometimes you even end up contradicting yourself. What the heck. Make up your mind. Fix how you express yourself. At the very least, explain yourself as clearly and as briefly as possible.
Another thing, I wonder if you really chose carefully who your "friends" are. We can't really say for sure if one is really a friend if he just knows you by chance and just talks to you about random stuff without delving deeper into who you are. In fact, we're not even sure if you are showing your true self to your "friends". What.
Speaking of your true self, have you reflected on who you really are? You keep on insisting that you are a sponge, and yet you also say that you are somewhat critical and you know what to choose and what to avoid. What. You really contradicted yourself there and because of this it really made me ask this again: Do you REALLY know who you REALLY are? Reflect on that. Reflect on what really makes you who you really are. Never be afraid to ask what do you want, what do you like, what do you hate, what do you REALLY think about your friends, your relatives, your culture. Know yourself better. You still have time. It's not yet too late.
Also, why are you so afraid of venturing outside your comfort zones? Peer pressure from your peers? Afraid of things that might happen to you? Unfamiliar places/people? Meh. If you keep on falling into any of those, you won't be able to meet new people at all. Don't be too paranoid about the dangers of going to places, sure there is some risk, but if you're vigilant enough, I'm sure it won't happen that much. Regarding peer pressure, screw that. It's your own life, they have no right to say where you go and with whom you want to go with. And with regards to unfamiliar places/people, don't be afraid to ask and to meet up with random people just to show you the way to where you are supposed to go. Besides, you can always ask out me or the others if you want to go some place else. Point is, don't stay stuck with the same people in the same places. Expand your realm, go explore. Nothing will be lost except some time and money anyway. Expand your horizons and don't just limit yourself within that box of yours.
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Please stop pressuring me to do something, especially if it is concerning finding a girlfriend. That whole "get a girl within 6 weeks or less" thing? That was a damn joke. Stop taking it seriously damn it. Let me do things at my own pace. Okay? I hope this makes things clear.
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That'll be all for now. I might end up editing this post sooner or later just to see if there are additional rants that I might've forgotten. Again, I'm just doing this just to clear my head of all these things so that I won't feel guilty of not airing them. If you got some problems/clarifications/violent reactions, just say it to me via private plurk, through ym or through this blog, either via the cbox or the comment field.
next up is Part 2: my thoughts and opinions on some matters.
Labels: complaining rants and ramblings, friendship, randomness, reflections
Materialized @ 8:24 PM
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Made By June Parreno 11/05/05